The
responsibility of obtaining a woman/Girl’s consent prior to engaging in a
sexual activity with her is imperative. Unfortunately, it is every now and then
misunderstood or neglected. To absolutely make sure that a potential sexual
partner/Wife is a willing participant, you could simply ask. Aside from verbal
consent, it could be possible to assess
your partner's comfort level by means of her body language. I get really upset
by the number of rape cases recorded in our institutions every day either from
a sexual partner or wife as a result of mistaken sexual consent. So, I have
therefore resolved to a number of factors I believe should be considered when
giving and getting consent in any case from a sexual partner.
Compliance and Agreement
Compliance to engage in any sexual activity is the act of agreeing to it. It is not, however, an agreement to participate in all sexual activity. Therefore, if someone agrees to kissing and fondling, it does not indicate she is open to oral or vaginal sex. Compliance is also not a binding agreement. This means that it can be revoked at any time. If someone agrees to sexual activity, she is not obligated to participate for the length of time her partner might demand.Ability and state of Mind
Not everyone has the ability to give consent. Children, for example, cannot give consent because they lack the maturity and experience to do so. Even those who are old enough to consent may not always be in the right state of mind to do so. For example, a university student who has been drinking alcohol may not be able to consent rightly to sex due to her level of intoxication. We must understand that this affects peoples' abilities to understand and agree to certain behaviors at certain times. Because as alcohol intake increases, the ability to give out conscious consent decreases.Response and Body Language
A verbal "yes" or "no" is always required to give or obtain consent. Body language is a great guide to judging someone's sexual consent. If a partner is of age, able-minded and actively participating in the act, she may be consenting. However, if she becomes tensed, pulls away or turns her head, for instance, she may be withdrawing or refusing consent. Any pressure to continue sexual activity despite your partner's lack of participation constitutes sexual assault. If you are unsure if a partner is comfortable with certain sexual contact, ask her. If you are still unsure, do not continue.Bullying to obtain consent
There are
multiple myths surrounding consent, sex and gender roles, bullying is most
often used as a way to obtain consent. For instance, men may sometimes feel
entitled to sex in return for paying for a date, and every now and then females
turn to believe their worth is based on their level of sexual engagement. This behavior
is manipulative. I consider it bullying. It is not, and can never be a safe or
appropriate means of affirming consent.
Also, Previous
sexual activity between two people does not imply consent. Saying « Mouiller ce mouiller qu'il
n'y a pas de mouiller sec » So what's the big deal? We've done it before" can be bullying. "If
you loved me, you would" and "I'm leaving for school soon. Let's do
it before it's too late" . These are all examples of bullying languages. Please
guys lets take note and watch the way we interact with our partners. Together we can put a stop to #Genderbasedvoilence! !
